Writing a letter to your 20 year old self

In the picturesque surrounds of Byron Shire, where the verdant hinterland meets the azure sea, the practice of introspection takes on a new depth. Anne Evans Counselling embodies this spirit of reflection by encouraging a unique therapeutic exercise: writing a letter to your 20-year-old self. This practice isn’t just about dwelling in the past; it’s a poignant journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and counsel that spans the years.

Embracing the Wisdom of Hindsight

Why 20, you might ask? For many, the age of 20 is a time brimming with potential, laced with uncertainty, and charged with the courage—or sometimes the recklessness—of youth. It’s often when life’s big decisions are made, where paths are chosen, and identities are explored. Looking back from a place of greater experience, what would you tell that bright-eyed individual?

Crafting Your Letter

This letter is not merely a note; it’s a bridge across time. Begin by setting the scene for yourself. Reflect on who you were at that time—the dreams you harboured, the fears you wrestled with, and the values you held dear. Address your letter to that version of you with kindness and empathy, as you would a dear friend.

Guidance and Understanding

Offer the insights you’ve gained with the compassion that comes from understanding past mistakes and triumphs. What lessons have been most pivotal? Share the wisdom that only time and experience can bestow, perhaps offering reassurance for the challenges you know were coming.

Celebrating Triumphs and Trials

Acknowledge the successes and joys that your younger self has yet to experience. Celebrate the person they will become, the resilience they will show, and the people they will love. But also offer solace for the hardships they will face, the grief they will bear, and the strength they will need to muster.

The Therapeutic Benefits of the Letter

Self-Compassion

Through this exercise, we learn to extend compassion to ourselves. By recognising the growth and the journey, we can be kinder to our former selves, and in turn, foster a greater sense of self-compassion in the present.

Perspective

Writing to our younger self provides perspective. It allows us to see how far we’ve come, how much we’ve grown, and how the dots of our life connect in ways we could not have imagined at 20.

Forgiveness

We all have regrets or make decisions that, in hindsight, we might wish to change. This letter is an opportunity to forgive your younger self for any perceived missteps, understanding they were a part of the learning process.

Clarity and Purpose

Reflecting on our past selves can bring clarity to our current path and purpose. It can reaffirm our values and the direction we wish to continue moving in life.

Emotional Release

For many, this letter is an emotional release—a way to let go of old burdens and to heal wounds that we’ve carried with us, perhaps even unknowingly.

How to Start Your Letter

Find a Quiet Space: Choose a serene spot in Byron Shire or your own personal haven that inspires reflection.
Set the Mood: Play music that resonates with the era of your youth or simply embrace the tranquillity of silence.
Be Honest: Your letter is a safe space. Honesty is key—don’t shy away from expressing true feelings.
Use Physical Writing Instruments: If possible, write your letter by hand. The act of writing can be therapeutic in itself, connecting you physically to the words.
Keep it Private: This letter is for you. It doesn’t need to be shared unless you wish to.
No Judgment: Release any self-criticism. Allow your current self to converse with your 20-year-old self without judgment.
Close with Love: End your letter on a note of love and encouragement.

At Anne Evans Counselling in Byron Shire, we understand that life is not a straight path but a complex tapestry of experiences that shape who we are. Writing a letter to your 20-year-old self is a powerful exercise in understanding this tapestry. It’s about honouring the person you were, the journey you’ve been on, and the individual you’ve become. Such a letter is a testament to life’s continual ebb and flow—a heartfelt dialogue between the past and present that enriches the soul with wisdom, compassion, and hope for the future.